Che Ahata Che Rogãpe (I'm Going Home)

I sat down to write this, but didn't know what to say. So instead I began to read what other Radical Journey-ers have been writing lately (sadly, not a habitual practice for me).

As I read through one bitter-sweet goodbye post after another I started to wonder if I'm the only one who is entirely and completely ready to get on that plane and fly home.

As I said, those posts are bitter-sweet, not just bitter. They are ready to go home, they just don't want to leave their current home, the friends and families they've gotten to know over this year, everything they've experienced. To me this means that they've made real relationships, they have really connected to the people God put in their lives, they've invested themselves in this adventure, which they / we all were called to do.

Does then, the fact that I feel none of this mean the opposite? Have I, this year, hardened myself against relationships, ignored the people God put in my life, become reclusive, and invested myself, instead, in counting down how many months, weeks, and days until July 13?

I'm not sure yet what the answers to these questions are, but I can say that I have a history of being unaffected by goodbyes (save one), and that simple fact may be my saving grace when it comes to confronting the questions.

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I suppose I should write an ammendment to this...

Last night as I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep, the thought hit me, "I´m leaving Paraguay the day after tomorrow...!" The whole time I´ve been here the date of July 12, 2010 has seemed unbelievably far off in the future, until last night that is.

I started really thinking about the differences in the PYan culture versus that of the U.S., and realized that I am going to miss the culture here a lot, I´m going to miss the people here and I´m really going to miss constantly being surrounded by Spanish (and Guaraní).

To answer the questions I asked before, I think they all have a little bit of truth to them, otherwise I wouldn´t have bothered to ask them, but over all, I did make relationships here and I have taken part in the culture, and even though I have been faithfully counting down the days and hours till I´m back home, this has been an amazing experience for me.

That being said... there are now 2 days, 5 hours, and 42 minutes until I step off the plane in Chicago.